Not Too Pretty

"Will you marry me?" The happiest words I've ever heard come out of my boyfriend's mouth since "I love you." Words that, if I'm lucky, I'll only hear once in my lifetime. (I'm looking at you, Danielle Staub...) *Twenty-one Since I said "yes(!!!)," however, there are five little words I hear over and over again. From friends, from family, from complete strangers. Words that sound innocent enough the first time - maybe even the tenth time - but after the thirtieth time, have really started to test my newly engaged woman patience: "Have you set a date?" Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to marry my fiancé. But every time I hear those words, I am dragged further down to earth off my happy engagement cloud and I'm mad about it . Hear me out. First off, if you've been with someone a while (read: over a year), you, too, have definitely suffered a nosy inquisition from those around you in the form of the innocen

I double-tapped so many memes of Sandra Bullock in a rowboat that I just HAD to see what all the fuss was about. Also, being one of the twelve idiots people in America that actually pay for their Netflix subscription (I'm sure someone reading this right now is logged into my account - YOU'RE WELCOME!), I figured I might as well get the most out of it and watch Bird Box. I expected to be entertained (Sandra Bullock AND John Malkovich!), I expected to be creeped out (I was). I was not expecting it to be so damn relatable . WARNING: if you haven't seen it yet, SLAP ON A BLINDFOLD AND LOOK AWAY - here come some spoilers. For the rest of you: here are all of the things I loved (and hated) about Bird Box : For starters, this movie made it clear that it is perfectly fine to never leave your house . As someone who is an expert in crafting excuses to get out of plans , a story in which the characters face almost certain doom if they venture outdoors is one I can get behind. C

I am a creature of habit, especially when it comes to makeup. I've worn the same foundation, the same bronzer, the same mascara, for years . This is mostly due to the fact that my skin cannot handle change , and partially due to the fact that I am makeup illiterate. You'd think I'd have absorbed at least some of the thousands of tutorials I've scrolled past on the 'gram, but no. The closest I've come is my smokey eye "look" , and even then... Thankfully, I have my sister. Younger, cooler, and totally up on all of the latest beauty trends. I live vicariously through her Sephora trips while I sit at home and tend to the mysterious hives on my face, which were most likely caused by either the laundry detergent I used or perhaps the apple I ate, one never quite knows. Though my skin broke out in a rash at the thought of trying her sparkly eyeshadow, there was one new purchase I had to get my hands on: her Kylie Lip Kit . Her lips looked so perfect

I'm over a decade late to the game on this one ( warning: for the three of us out there who haven't seen this movie, there may be spoilers ), but since the "Top Picks for You" section on Netflix rarely steers me wrong, and since the movie poster offered up so much Euro actor goodness in one neat little Christmas package, I couldn't resist: I finally watched Love Actually. WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN? Let's start with poor Liam Neeson (Daniel) and his little sh*t son, Sam. We learn early on that Daniel's wife (Sam's mom) died. We even get a live look at her funeral (super cheerful Christmas movie stuff!). We see Sam sitting in the church looking sad, and for a minute we actually feel bad for him . Sam locks himself in his room all day, and has been taking the death of his mother really badly - OR SO WE THOUGHT . It turns out Sam is really just "IN LOVE" with some rando girl at his school, and THAT is why he's depressed. WHEW. Thought for

Marriage [mar·riage /ˈmerij/]: "an intimate and ritually recognized union shared between two spouses"...and all of their Instagram followers. As a woman of a certain age (e.g., old enough to have witnessed the rise of Facebook yet young enough to have abandoned it due to its high concentration of middle aged divorcees), I have seen my fair share of weddings on social media and all of the attention that surrounds them. One flash of an engagement ring will rack up hundreds of likes and comments and catapult the poster into a new realm of Insta fame. The newly-engaged will ride this wedding wave for as long as humanly possible; taking every opportunity to boast about their new relationship status and all of the planning that comes with it. I myself have fallen victim to the temptation a fourth finger ring brings, and admittedly spent a little too much time crafting a clever caption to accompany my own engagement announcement post (which, by the way, got hella likes). F