BREAKING THE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

"Will you marry me?" The happiest words I've ever heard come out of my boyfriend's mouth since "I love you." Words that, if I'm lucky, I'll only hear once in my lifetime. (I'm looking at you, Danielle Staub...) *Twenty-one
Since I said "yes(!!!)," however, there are five little words I hear over and over again. From friends, from family, from complete strangers. Words that sound innocent enough the first time - maybe even the tenth time - but after the thirtieth time, have really started to test my newly engaged woman patience: "Have you set a date?" Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to marry my fiancé. But every time I hear those words, I am dragged further down to earth off my happy engagement cloud and I'm mad about it. Hear me out. First off, if you've been with someone a while (read: over a year), you, too, have definitely suffered a nosy inquisition from those around you in the form of the innocently phrased but anxiety-inducing "when are you two getting engaged?" question. Be honest - no matter who you are or how secure you are in your love, this gets to you. Suddenly you're left re-evaluating a relationship that's doing just fine, simply because of the fact that some random person (who oftentimes knows very little about said relationship) has decided that, according to their imaginary relationship timeline, it's time for you two to commit to each other for the rest of your lives. You start asking yourself "well, why hasn't he proposed yet?," and before you know it, you're having a full-on Carrie Bradshaw meltdown after every dinner that doesn't end with a ring on your finger. Now. The big moment finally arrives. Every silly bit of doubt you might have had washes away as the person you get to spend the rest of your life with gets down on one knee and asks you the question you've been waiting to hear! You. Couldn't. Be. Happier! You float around on your engagement high, calling everyone with the news and crafting the perfect Instagram caption to share it with the world. You are exactly where you're supposed to be. Everything is perfect. Until... "Soooo, have you two set a date?" Well well well, here comes good ol' Aunt Susan, less than 24 hours into the engagement, ready to unload a whole new weight onto your shoulders and send you spiraling back down to earth again. Breaking out her wedding clock to remind you that time is ticking! Plans must be made! Venues book up fast! and - my personal favorite - if you wait more than a year, people will start talking! Woah woah woah, WAIT A MINUTE. The same people who pestered you about not being engaged are now stealing your joy by rushing you into the wedding planning stage just hours into your engagement?!? Can't I just enjoy this moment? Isn't this what you've all been waiting for?!? If you think back, I'm sure you will notice that these pressures from outside sources have existed in some form throughout your whole life. When you were single, the pressure to pair up was there in the form of sympathetic glances from happy couples and set-up offers you had no interest in. Then, when you start dating, you're hit with the "is he the one?" smirk, which over time changes into the "well what is he waiting for?" joke that spirals into the eventual: We have reached a point where engagement no longer marks a special moment in your life, but rather a starting gun signaling the beginning of the wild sprint to the aisle that is wedding planning. And I'm not falling for it. Give me another week. A month. Honestly, give me however the f*ck long I choose to move to the next stage. Because it took me years to reach this level of happiness. To have found the person I get to spend the rest of my life with. I only get this one time, this little period in my life in between "boyfriend" and "husband," to call him my fiancé. And I want to savor every minute of it. So wherever you are right now, don't rush. Enjoy it. All of it. When you look back, none of the worrying, the anxiety mattered. You're here. You're happy. Treasure it. This all happens just once. Unless, of course, you're Danielle Staub...