Not Too Pretty

I am a creature of habit, especially when it comes to makeup. I've worn the same foundation, the same bronzer, the same mascara, for years . This is mostly due to the fact that my skin cannot handle change , and partially due to the fact that I am makeup illiterate. You'd think I'd have absorbed at least some of the thousands of tutorials I've scrolled past on the 'gram, but no. The closest I've come is my smokey eye "look" , and even then... Thankfully, I have my sister. Younger, cooler, and totally up on all of the latest beauty trends. I live vicariously through her Sephora trips while I sit at home and tend to the mysterious hives on my face, which were most likely caused by either the laundry detergent I used or perhaps the apple I ate, one never quite knows. Though my skin broke out in a rash at the thought of trying her sparkly eyeshadow, there was one new purchase I had to get my hands on: her Kylie Lip Kit . Her lips looked so perfect...

I'm over a decade late to the game on this one ( warning: for the three of us out there who haven't seen this movie, there may be spoilers ), but since the "Top Picks for You" section on Netflix rarely steers me wrong, and since the movie poster offered up so much Euro actor goodness in one neat little Christmas package, I couldn't resist: I finally watched Love Actually. WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN? Let's start with poor Liam Neeson (Daniel) and his little sh*t son, Sam. We learn early on that Daniel's wife (Sam's mom) died. We even get a live look at her funeral (super cheerful Christmas movie stuff!). We see Sam sitting in the church looking sad, and for a minute we actually feel bad for him . Sam locks himself in his room all day, and has been taking the death of his mother really badly - OR SO WE THOUGHT . It turns out Sam is really just "IN LOVE" with some rando girl at his school, and THAT is why he's depressed. WHEW. Thought for ...

Marriage [mar·riage /ˈmerij/]: "an intimate and ritually recognized union shared between two spouses"...and all of their Instagram followers. As a woman of a certain age (e.g., old enough to have witnessed the rise of Facebook yet young enough to have abandoned it due to its high concentration of middle aged divorcees), I have seen my fair share of weddings on social media and all of the attention that surrounds them. One flash of an engagement ring will rack up hundreds of likes and comments and catapult the poster into a new realm of Insta fame. The newly-engaged will ride this wedding wave for as long as humanly possible; taking every opportunity to boast about their new relationship status and all of the planning that comes with it. I myself have fallen victim to the temptation a fourth finger ring brings, and admittedly spent a little too much time crafting a clever caption to accompany my own engagement announcement post (which, by the way, got hella likes). F...